People are allowed to be repulsed by sex.
People are allowed to be uncomfortable with nudity.
People are allowed to be uncomfortable with genitalia, their own or others.
There are so many reasons why people may feels this way, from dysphoria to being asexual to coping with sexual assault to just straight up that’s how they feel.
And that’s ok.
So I applied for three jobs today (Hot Topic, Zumiez, and OfficeMax). I’ve wanted to work at Hot Topic since I was like 12 or 13 so I really hope they hire me but Zumiez would be a close second.
I honestly don’t want to work at OfficeMax but they’re hiring so I gave it a shot. A job is a job and I need one if I want to go to college.
I’ll admit I’m not okay…
I haven’t been for years and when there’s a glimmer of hope it disappears before I know it. I hate feeling so negative and generally shit. It’s beyond me how people can even bear to tolerate me.
I try to put on a façade. I try to appear at least somewhat stable but I’m a fucking wreck. It never seems to get better or easier. It’s like I’m a boomerang - things start to get better and I feel hopeful but then soon thereafter I’m back to where I started and it never ends.
Fucking hell I just want to stop feeling this way. Hello, life full of dysphoria and disappointment.
[slams fist down on the table] who gave your voice permission to sound that attractive